冷笑话是近年来颇为流行的一种语言现象,主要以机智、幽默著称。下面是小编带来的超级搞笑的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
超级搞笑的英语小笑话篇一
Don’t Get Caught! 不要被逮着了!
Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisherman and asked whether he’d had any luck.
在森林保护区内，有个人走向一位正在钓鱼的老兄并问他有没有收获。
【No, nothing today, but you should have seen me yesterday. I caught fourteen bass in the morning and another twelve in the afternoon.】
【今天什么也没有，不过你应该昨天来见我才是。昨天早上我钓了十四尾鲈鱼，下午钓了十二尾呢!】
【Well, that’s very interesting. Do you know who I am?】
【哦，那相当不错嘛，你知道我是谁吗?】
【No.】
【不知道。】
【I happen to be the game warden.】
【我恰巧就是监视狩猎的管理员。】
【Oh. And do you know who I am? I’m the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on.】
【哦，那你又知道我是谁吗?我是你所发现最会说谎话的人。】
超级搞笑的英语小笑话篇二
Sounds Fair 听起来还算公平
A woman was reporting to her husband about the events of the day.
一位女士正滔滔不绝地向她先生诉说当天发生的事。
【Oh, and I had a big fight with the electric company.】
【哦，另外我也和电力公司大吵了一架!】
【Really? Who won?】
【真的吗?后来谁赢了?】
【Nobody, it was a tie. They don’t get any money and we don’t get any electricity.】
【没有人赢，算扯平吧。他们没拿到一毛钱，而我们也没有电可用。】
超级搞笑的英语小笑话篇三
Learning to Share 学习共同分享
Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the bigger piece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.
强尼把块派一分为二，把大的留给自己，小的给他妹妹。
【Hey,】 said his sister, 【if I’d divided the pie, I would have kept the smaller piece for myself.】
【嘿，如果是我来分那块派，我会把小的留给我自己，】妹妹说道。
【Well, that’s what you got, so what are you complaining about?】
【你不是分到小块的吗，还抱怨什么呢?】
超级搞笑的英语小笑话篇四
Aren’t Kids Wonderful? 小孩子实在了不起!
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
妈妈和小强尼、小罗尼一起搭乘火车。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: 【What’s an emergency brake, Mommy?】 【Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?】 【Why can’t I lean out the window?】 etc.
小强尼一如往常问东问西【，妈咪，什么是紧急煞车?【】为什么那位警察叔叔要看我们的车票?【】为什么身体不能伸出窗外?】等等诸如此类问题。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
妈妈实在忍不住要发脾气了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, 【What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?】
最后小强尼又问【：妈咪，刚刚火车停靠的是哪一站?】
【I don’t know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I’m trying to read.】
【我不知道，强尼，你可不可以不要烦我，我正在看书呢!】
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, 【It’s too bad you don’t know what station that was,’ cause that’s where Little Ronny got off.】
一阵安静后，强尼说【：真糟糕，你竟然不知道罗尼下车的那个车站。】
超级搞笑的英语小笑话篇五
A Lesson in Philosophy 哲学课一则
Why worry?
何必忧虑呢?
Really, you have only two things to worry about—either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有两件事要担心，你不是会生病就是身体健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about, and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about—either you get well or you die.
如果你身体健康，那么就没什么好担心的。如果生病的话，只要担忧两件事，你不是康复就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about, and if yo die, you have only two things to worry about—either you go to heaven or you go to hell. If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about, and if you go to hell... You’ll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won’t have time to worry!
如果你康复的话，什么也不必担心。如果不幸死亡的话，你只要担心两件事，你不是上天堂就是下地狱。
如果上天堂，什么也不需要你担忧。要是下地狱的话，你会忙着和老朋友握手寒暄，连担忧事情的时间都没有!
标签：英语,搞笑,笑话
